There’s this voice in me, she sounds like the voice of societal reason and feels like shame and fear and she tells me what will and will not be acceptable. I know who she is. I’ve battled with her many times. She’s my inner critic and she’s got opinions. She strongly feels I should just keep my head down and maintain the status quo and she also asks repeatedly ‘who am I to think about such lofty notions as creating a better world?’
Except there is another, much stronger force within me – the voice of my soul. She speaks through whispers and nudges, a sense of just knowing. She has innocence and playfulness and is the well-spring of my creativity. She couldn’t care less about the voice of societal reason. She urges me towards growth, expansion and living a wild, fulfilling and meaningful life.
The interplay of these voices can create internal dissonance – anxiety, depression. Your soul wants to go one way, a life time of conditioning says something else.
It is hard-wired in us to follow the rules of our parents and the communities we live in. Our tribal selves depended on the security and belonging this afforded. To leave the folds was to die.
And yet the rules of society have taken us down paths that we cannot tread for much longer. Our children are set to inherit a dying, drowning, burning world, devoid of animals and edible food.
The massive amounts of people experiencing mental health symptoms are not indicative of broken people, they are indicative of a broken world. And a societal toxic soup that believes some people, or forms of life are more important than other people. Humans are more important than animals, white people are more important than black, straight people have more rights than gay people, men are better than women.
We’re seeing such global chaos as these norms are challenged and a truer, deeper balance is struck. We each have depth and beauty, we are each a unique expression of divinity.
Inside each of us is the enforcer of the status quo and our conditioning. And there is also the voice of the soul. We drown her out with alcohol, with numbing Facebook scrolling, with never finding a quiet moment to sit down. If we sat down we would no doubt encounter the fear and the anger and the frustration of giving our lives for actions that do not align with the deepest truth about who we are.
Underneath that though, there would be a nudge. The soul doesn’t plot an action plan. Unfortunately, she doesn’t speak rationally. She will often point directly towards that which you most fear.
She just tells you the next step to take. And then the next, and then the next. Take enough steps and a truer reflection of yourself starts to form.
As you face your fear, you become stronger. A different, wiser, more loving you is forged in the fires of the transformation process. As you listen and then act, you feel lighter, freer. You start to like who you see in the mirror. Meetings crop up that help take you in a new direction.
At first it’s fucking terrifying. You don’t really know where you’re going, you only know you can’t carry on in the old way anymore.
Emotions surface relating to childhood instances when your soul was silenced in order to teach you to fit into the world as it was. In order to claim back your soul, you need to unearth and absorb all those painful moments. It’s a journey and a process. It’s horrendously painful at times and extraordinarily bright. But above all it’s wickedly meaningful.
That’s the direction to go in. Big money, flash holidays, status and approval within old systems mean little to the soul, who is the deepest truth about who you are. Pursue those if you must but everyone I know that has found themselves at the pinnacle of that pedestal has found it to be all glimmer and no substance. At best it's fun for a while, at worst it is a road to burn out and apathy. Eventually, we all crave something deeper.
Following the soul is a profound and mystical journey. It is what we are here for. It is a life truly lived.
Sit quietly dear one. And listen in. Who are you really? And what is your next step?