Humanity is going through a breakdown/spiritual awakening.
When I was 18, I’d been taking drugs daily for 4 years. My way of life was unsustainable. I had pain I hadn’t processed, I wasn’t looking after myself and my body was falling apart.
Things had to change. It was an undeniable fact I couldn’t deny any longer.
It was painful. It hurt to lift the hazy veil of drug fueled self denial and see my life for what it was - all the places I had not been taking responsibility for my actions, all the places I had been brushing things under the carpet.
Because the universe is more loving and beautiful than we can possibly comprehend, I was doing a degree that meant I practiced yoga, tai chi and a martial art with a specific emphasis on bringing awareness to the body. As I broke down, I woke up. The practices helped me become more embodied and listen to the truths my soul had been whispering for a long time.
I cried for 3 months straight. I cried about all the ways I had abandoned myself for other people’s approval and all the ways I had attached my identity to things that were ultimately meaningless. I decided to rebuild myself in a way that was heart felt and above all, truthful.
The introspective practices provided a discipline that allowed me to grow stronger and gave me a framework to explore what was happening within me. I had the feeling that I was being guided throughout. It was a time of deep truth and beautiful grace.
This is where humanity is. Our lives don’t work anymore. We are depressed, anxious, obese, stressed and sick, rushing about to make money for institutions we don't really care about, while the oceans fill with plastic, the air gets more polluted and natural disasters disrupt more and more lives. Half the wildlife on our planet has been wiped out and Trump has been elected president of the USA.
Meanwhile, incredible individuals make bold steps to usher in a new way of being on the planet. People and institutions like Tree Sisters, Mark Winn, MOE, Lucia Pagliarone, Andre Duquemin, Grace Galliott, permaculture, Lisa Berkovitz and Earth Ships (to name just a few that I am inspired by and grateful for) and so many more both locally and internationally. There is so much hope and brilliance and human ingenuity.
Each and everyone one of us has the power to be a change maker, has the strength to share our gifts with the world. Each of us is a force of nature.
But first we must do the introspective work to get very clear on how we are living. Often we must shed the old in order to birth the new. Then we can explore what lights us up, what we are passionate about, what we are called to work towards above anything else. We can harness the extraordinary power of the human spirit that lives within each and every one of us in service of our world and each other.
For many of us - the exponential amounts of people experiencing depression and anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia - the time is already here. The Earth is speaking to us.
We must sit quietly with ourselves, learn to listen to our wise inner guidance and be bold about who we are and what needs to be done. We must heal our collective pains and surrender to what is unfolding.
For me, the other side of breakdown has been more beauty than I could possibly have comprehended. It is magic and love and depth and a sense of belonging, brought about by honesty so searing it has broken my heart open many times. It is also commitment and discipline and a willingness to face what needs to be faced.
It is a deep realization that we are of this earth and what is happening to her is happening inside each of our bodies. By healing ourselves and waking up to our inter-connectedness, we heal our home.
Imagining a future where humanity manages to course correct (as I did at university), rewiring institutions and personal relationships to me feels dazzlingly bright. I can taste it. I can see homes fully powered by renewable electricity, food grown locally full of nourishment, the animal populations thriving and bright-eyed humans relating lovingly and consciously to each other, exploring passions and creativity. It's not a million miles away from my life right now.
And yet my children's future hangs precariously with dangerously apocalyptic projections of what the next 50 years might bring.
I have come to realise that my part is to help be a guide for people to cross over. I know the terrain. From depression to joy, from lethargy to meaning, from anxiety to deep trust. It is a path of surrender, of feeling your emotions all the way through.
Mostly though, there is a shift from self critical, to self loving, from ‘not good enough’, to realizing that you are more than enough. That within you dwells a spark of the infinite. No one else can offer what you can.
I know that one of my greatest gifts is to hold deep presence for people – to share my practice. To guide people into a deeper experience of their bodies, their lives and their souls. That, and writing about it!
Look within my lovely, and bring it out.
Let go my lovely, and light up.